Danger in Men-Folk

“Why didn’t you tell me there was danger in men-folk?” -Tess Durbeyfield, Tess of the D'Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy

This quote epitomizes Tess’ pure innocence and naivety. She has been living under a proverbial rock her entire life, and her unfortunate incident with Alec was her first exposure to the coldness of the outside world. She asks her mother the question in the quote, expecting her to have the answers. She feels cheated and betrayed by her parents, she feels that if her parents really cared about her they would look out for her and “tell her the danger.” Her ideas of men and love were ones of wild fantasy, the kind that she had read in her fairy tales. However, as all people come to realize either gradually or harshly like Tess, life isn’t a fairy tale. The cold realities and nature of humanity are often magnified in the matters of love; unfortunately Tess’ first “love” had to treat her so terribly. One has to think in alternate realities to fully understand things though, and to take into account Hardy’s recurring elements of fate. If you postulate that if Tess’ parents had in fact told her of the “dangers of men-folk,” would she have met Angel? Tess, listening to her parents her entire life, would most likely have remained in her house heeding the warnings of her parents. Then if you begin to understand the elements of fate that Hardy injects into the story, it seems that Tess’ curiosity would likely overcome her. She would find out for herself the “dangers in men-folk,” and become a stronger woman because of it.

Cyclical: Series of Haikus

hazy colors swirl
reality redefined
a new beginning

calm chime of the bells
calls me, invites me inside
trap or paradise?

identified: thief
knives red hot, wound still gaping
hollowed out; nothing

repetition-sick
embracing ancestral fate
silent screams ne’er heard

endless starless night
corruption sings its sweet tune
humming at my side

hole dug, fill with ooze
seeps downward, fills all the gaps
poison stings, makes me smile

lotus garden wilts
petals rot, decay, collapse
light fades to darkness

stagnancy blooms wild
fruits of hope sprout from nothing
fresh nectar quenches

dark gives way to light
light is illuminated
eyes opened at last

Breaking Glass

Broken apart and scattered throughout the street
Shards of emotion prick all passers by
Fences entrap earthly beings, eyes begin to glow
A sharp azure, longing for meaning
Beautiful shining star, let me take all of you in
Surround my perimeter, create beauty from sin
Attack the outside and blanket us together
Two perfect spheres among the wreckage of fear
Dip me in your rivers, drag me through your sands
We’re knee deep already
Cleanse or corrupt, purge or deface
Unable to care where the road leads
Potholes, craters, embracing them all
Searching for sanity at the bottom of a hole
Shards dance about, form substance out of decay
Regrowth of the heart
Mind goes astray
Eros regains the throne

What a Debacle

This year's senior student council is a group of buffoons. What could honestly possess them to nominate SEVEN country music songs out of eleven total for the senior song? There isn't any diversity in that. It just so happens that the student council is one tiny sliver of the school, and they get all the say. Only they have the power to elect Tim McGraw, Rascal Flatts(twice), Natasha Beddingfield, Kenny Chesney, and 2 others. The entire presentation today was quite disheartening in the sense that I'm going to have to try to enjoy myself while the last moment of high school is spent with Kenny Chesney.

If you ignore the fact that the music will be lame, prom will likely be fun. I've heard from people to "not believe the hype," and I'm not. Dances are just dances, that phobia has long since passed. As long as i'm with the people that I love I don't think anything else will matter.

Dances always used to make me so nervous. I can remember back to freshman year homecoming, where the group of guys I went with just kinda stood around in the back and were too afraid to let ourselves go. Deep down I wanted to break free and embrace the fun all around me, but I needed time.

I now realize that time is the most valuable resource, bar nothing. It's running really short, and as of late i've been trying to catch up for those years that i've wasted. I look for happiness and beauty everywhere I turn, for I know that this environment is familiar. Next year I'm not going to have the luxury of familiarity, so I have to soak up every ounce of sunshine available. Although, in a way, next year won't be so different from now. The friends that I care about the most are almost all going to Allendale, so in a way our lives are being transplanted to a different location.

On that note, I can't decide which is better. Embracing normalcy and living life comfortably, or branching out and sacrificing everything in order to grow more as a person. Even if I had the right answer, the advantages of the other path not chosen are enticing. How do you tell when one phase in your life is ending? When is it right to move on? At what point do you stop going with the flow and start living for yourself? These questions are all goals for myself, and I want them answered as soon as possible.